clitorito:

The last one

Hahaha…totally the last one.

(Source: pleatedjeans)

(Reblogged from pdx23)

When you’re making the bed and your clips fall out…

Yeah…That was a good idea until I ended up with alcohol poisoning. Turns out downing that bottle, along with a couple shots of Kraken and an accidental does of vodka on an empty stomach was a bad idea. I missed Pride.

My current bathroom past time. Drinking + pooping = more room for drinking.

My new, lovely, little birdies…

(Source: weheartit.com)

(Reblogged from mrsmediocre)

Threesome!!! Let’s plan this shit.

nickofitall:

Bill Murray as Hunter S. Thompson in “Where the Buffalo Roam”

(Source: nickdrake)

(Reblogged from nickofitall)

wilwheaton:

sesamestreet:

It’s Bert and Ernie week on SesameStreet.org!

I want to believe that Bert and Ernie week happening during Gay Pride Month is not a coincidence.

#IShipIt

(Reblogged from wilwheaton)

This doesn’t work.

(Source: mrlovenstein)

(Reblogged from misfittoys)

Girl…you’ve seen all my party tricks! I was gay for you a long time ago ;)

This Ain’t No MySpace (asks for adults)

1: Exactly how long have you been in your current relationship?
Just over three months
2: Most recent purchase over $500.
Well, today I paid my rent. That’s not as much of a purchase as…you know, rent. I can’t remember the last time I bought something that expensive.
3: How much of the furniture you own is the kind you have to build yourself?
I’d say approximately 90%. IKEA FTW!
4: If you were to acquire a baby tomorrow what would you name it?
Is it a boy or a girl? I really have no idea. For girls I like the names, Brody, Charlie and London…for boys? Simon…? Idk.
5: How often do you change your sheets…really.
Depends on how much Sex I have on them. Sometimes I change them once every two weeks or so, and sometimes I change them every day. Things get messy in my sexual world. Really messy.
6: Biggest adult decision ever:
Having babies.
7: More immature thing you do on a regular basis.
All of the things.
8: Biggest bill you pay.
Rent.
9: Smallest bill you pay.
School loans.
10: What small responsibility do you get the most excited over?
Things at work. I like acquiring and performing new duties and gaining new responsibilities.
11: List your kids from most tolerable to least tolerable based on the past 24 hours.
The Man Child, The Small Human.
12: Favorite year of school?
Senior year.
13: Have you actually thought about retirement?
Yeah. I’d like to do it right now.
14: Is sex better now than it was in high school/college?
Oh, Jesus, yes!
15: Do you own sex toys?
Many :)
16: Favorite place in your home?
My bed.
17: What’s making you feel old?
Everything. U
18: What do you drive?
A 1995 Plymouth Voyager. Her name is Gerty. She’s nice…super sexual. Oddly enough, I’ve had a lot of sex in that thing. Dirty Gerty. ;)
19: What adult responsibility do you loathe?
All of them. Mostly paying bills and doing laundry.
20: The last time you did shots?
Saturday
21: What aggravates you about teenagers nowadays?
Their sense of entitlement.
22: 5 biggest pet peeves.
Liars
Bad spelling/grammar
Drama
People who don’t compromise
Having a dirty house
23: What are your shows right now?
I love Orange Is The New Black, True Blood, any dancing or singing show, Game Of Thrones and Face Off, but I don’t have cable right now or Netflix. I’m really bored.
24: Have your political views changed since you left school?
Nope
25: What’s changed the most since 5 years ago?
I live in a different state, have a second child, I’m divorced, and openly gay. Things are as drastically different as could ever imagine them being.